I think I'm going to go and try and work up a little hysteria over a spork, and then vote democratic eight times in one election.
It MUST be fun. Maybe we are missing something.

Of course, it won't be the "sporting" or dinner forks they'll go after. At first, they'll merely propose common-sense legislation targeting those assault serving forks.

How many tines did that sucker have on it anyway?

After that, look for calls to ban barbecue grill forks, tuning forks, and don't even get me started on pitchforks. Unless you have a valid farmer's license, you just don't NEED one of those killers.

It might even start out more benign than that: Requiring a cutlery safety course from a licensed culinary institute. Keeping the silverware in a lockable buffet cabinet. Limiting meals to one fork per setting (does anyone really use "salad forks" anyway?). Making sure that kids know to tell an adult when they come to a fork in the road...

Boring dinner party? Just glance at the table and exclaim "where has the tine gone" and you're home free!

I dare anyone to say that it was the human's fault... anyone. You ALL know it was the Fork's fault!!!

Did they publish a list of fork owners?

Yep, stick a fork in 'im, he's done.