Tarazet

I Love You Forever, Rainbow

So this was a rather bleak day for several reasons. It's raining and gloomy. Oh, who cares! My best friend in the world, Rainbow Cat has been very sick all week. She was -- I grant you -- over 20. A woman never reveals her true age but I knew her and her family when she was born. When she was about 4 months old she showed-up at my front door one day as I was leaving for work. She was just sitting there and as I walked out she scampered right through the door.

My own cat, Jasper, loved other cats and I knew he wouldn't bother her. So... I just shrugged my shoulders (I was a construction worker then and we just shrugged things off and didn't give a rat's patootee...)

I came home that night to find Rainbow and Jasper "thick as thieves" and having a grand 'ol time.

Jasper was BIG but handicapped and I had "ramps" all over the place for him to be able to walk-up to things. Every night by my bed, I put out a glass of water with a napkin on it, for me to drink in the middle of the night. Every night Rainbow traipsed up the ramp, pushed the napkin away, and lapped-up my water. I thought it was so cool! Then, she hopped onto the bed and slept with me.

Back in the "old days" I let Rainbow Cat wander outside. When I walked with her she was really shy and I remember (a hot Summer evening and all the tenents were lounging outside) and I was walking with Rainbow and she just kept winding her way between my legs. She just wanted to stay with me and have me protect her. I remember one friend saying, "gee, Jeff, Rainbow really loves you." Yes she did. I never had and never had since such a loving and devoted friend as Rainbow.

At some point she scratched me and I got "Cat Scratch Fever" which the doctors couldn't diagnose and they took out a "tumor" (just a blown-up lymph-gland in my arm) and when they finally diagnosed it my surgeon called me frantically telling me that I had to "destroy" any cat I had. Needless to say, I didn't. "Destroy Rainbow" seemed to be the common theme in her (our) life as when she was overweight (for most of her life after I had her "fixed") she was diagnosed with an enlarged-heart and water in the lungs. I still said, let her go on. She did. She could rally from death itself!

But finally, at 20, all of her problems caught-up with her. She was almost fine until about a week ago when she stopped eating, couldn't walk, started gasping for breath, lost interest in everything and could only walk a few steps before lying on her side and trying to breath. Rainbow had rallied-back from so many "dire problems" that after a while you (well, me, I) just assumed she would always bounce back. But this week she couldn't. 20 years and 5 months after her birth, she finally gave in.

I knew it was the end. She let me know, with a look and a raspy sound, that it was time. I've been dreading this moment forever. But I also knew that Rainbow depended on me to do the right thing for her. She had reached the point where she was quickly dying, and there was no option left but to ease her suffering.

She was ready last night. This morning I first made an appointment at the animal hospital. Then, I went to the hardware store and -- how terrible a shopping trip is this? I bought a shovel. I came home and excavated her space right outside my front-door and the window where she used to sit and watch the world. There are huge trees all around but I also bought tin-snips to cut the roots.

The veterinarian I go to now is very nice, and they have a special room for the "end times" of your beloved. A nice couch for you both to sit on. They gave me about 15 minutes to be alone with Rainbow. Then, the doctor came in and administered a sedative (the kind used to put an animal to sleep for surgery) and then she left. As the minutes ticked-by, I said my last thoughts and feelings to Rainbow as she went into deep, painless sleep. As she fell asleep, I (again) let Rainbow know that I loved her so much and forever, in body and then in spirit. I told her as I stroked her beautiful fur that I hoped she would wait for me in Heaven and that I would join her soon.

I must tell you that this is the second cat-friend I've had to put to sleep. My first best friend, Jasper, had kidney disease and had a slow, terrible death over four months. I didn't know better and I had the Vet try to save him with dialysis and other expensive procedures. I... No, he, Jasper, suffered and grew progressively worse over several months.

Rainbow, thank God, stayed resilient and lived through most of her problems over the years. But this time, there was no rally left, no second-wind.

Rainbow had a (if there is such a thing) good death within my arms. I held her in her final moments.

Early this morning I bought a shovel and dug her grave. Then, I prepared a favorite box of hers, lined with plastic, and then my pillowcase that she always slept on, and when I brought her home from the Vet a few hours ago, I wrapped her in her favorite blanket, the one that lined her "comfy-nest" that she spent her free time in.

I also lined her coffin with her favorite toys and shoe-laces (she was always grabbing them and carrying them off...) and some food and water and love...

I buried Rainbow an hour ago outside my front door and right next to the window she used to sit at while looking out at the world. I know her spirit will find a way back inside to be with me. I also know and believe that Rainbow was the best thing, the best person/being/friend that ever came into my life.

Rainbow, I love you now and tomorrow and forever. WE WILL be together in body and then in spirit for all eternity and beyond. Rainbow and Jeff, always and forever.

I have to tell you, Rainbow had the most beautiful face in the universe.

Here is how I will always remember her, when she wasn't snuggling up to me in bed, here she is in her "comfy-nest" blanket under the tea-table:

Rainbow, you were, are, always will be the most beautiful cat that ever lived. You will always be my soul-mate. We WILL spend eterntity together. I will always love you, forever. Thank you for blessing my life for 20 years. Let's have another 2 million years together in spirit.

Okay... I'm sorry this post was depressing but I needed to send my all-time best buddy, Rainbow, onto and into heaven and ask her to please wait for me. I'll be there soon. Thank you Almighty God, for bringing Rainbow and me together and allowing us to have so many years of pleasure together.

Please, KEEP us together for all eternity and beyond.

Rainbow, I love you so much that I hope we are soon exploring the universe together and once again being reunited as best friends.

God, please bless Rainbow for all eternity. She deserves it. I love and miss her so much.

Posted by Jeff Soyer at September 18, 2004 05:05 PM